How to Help a Friend
Are you worried about a friend in an unhealthy relationship? Here are some suggestions for how to be a supportive ally to your friend.
Listen
Make sure your friend knows that you’re there to hear about their relationship. Tell them you want to hear about the good and the bad—this will make it more likely that they’ll feel comfortable talking to you about the hard stuff.
Stay present in their life
More than anything, your friend needs to know that they are loved and supported by people who know them and know what’s going on in their life. Continue to be a friend to him/her even if their abuser tries to isolate them from you by saying mean things to you or trying to make it difficult for you to be around your friend.
Affirm
Let your friend know you see them as a strong person in a difficult situation. Tell them that they’re not alone or crazy, that you’re there to support them and that there are other people experiencing similar situations.
Be supportive of their decisions
Your friend may decide to stay in a relationship that you think they should leave. People surviving bad relationships often know when it is the best time to leave or change the relationship and it is important for them to hear from friends that they are supported in staying if that’s what is safest. Keep being their friend even if they decide to stay or make other decisions you think aren’t great. If they do stay, help them strategize ways to make their current situation safer.
Learn more
Research healthy relationships, contact organizations that work with survivors of relationship violence and get more information. Don’t force this information on your friend, but have it available as something you can share with them when they’re ready. Check out our service provider listings and online resources.
